 First Impressions:
I saw the ribbon for the 1st place win in Twisted Tales (congrats!) so I expected a twist, but I didn’t guess what was actually going to happen. I liked how you structured the tale. You warned the readers that something shocking was about to happen, and then took them back to three weeks ago when most of the tale took place. The way you set up the story was great, with the boy who disappeared under mysterious circumstances, the distraught parents, and the cop who appeared (at first) to be the only one who could see what was going on. Well, he could see something, anyway, more than anyone else. What exactly it meant was one of the questions I needed to get an answer to as I was reading on. But you didn’t satisfy my curiosity. Instead, you treated me to another mystery - and then the story ended. I felt cheated  But it worked very well, the way you cut back to what had just happened, and I didn’t see it coming that the story would end so abruptly.
 Suggestions:
I didn’t notice any errors and I don’t have any suggestions, so I’m going to use this section to point out something that I thought was particularly well done. I loved how the narrator told the readers everything he saw, the two children, the way they beckoned the missing boy, their black eyes, and all the while I was wondering why the father had said that his son was talking to nobody. It didn’t make sense, and I didn’t get it until the narrator asked if the parents knew those kids, and the rather confused conversation that followed explained it all. I thought that was excellent, a clever twist and a very original idea.
 Final Thoughts:
Now, my question of course is, why could only the narrator and the mother see the kids? Where did the boy go, and why did he suddenly turn up at the narrator’s door? What was the deal with… Okay, you get it, I wish this had been part of a longer story because I enjoyed the read and I wanted to know more! As it is, I enjoyed the tale and the twist, and I’m glad that I stumbled across this gem today.
 My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!"  .
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Review #4775188
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