Hallo Amethyst Snow Angel ! I will be reviewing your work
Content:
It's just another day in Santa's workshop/home in the North Pole, where he has plans for the next big toy that most of the kids are looking forward to. However, someone quite unexpected comes to visit, and though he's family, there's no denying the underlying tension between them. Yet try as hard as he can to do what's right, Santa finds himself engaged in a battle that could spell the end of Christmas as we know it!
Pluses:
Okay, I have seen snippets of that movie 'Jack Frost', and of course the character design, so I can only assume that you are basing this off that particular one, yes? Either way, this so read like I was actually watching the movie version, especially at the action-packed sequence towards the end there. Whoa! Talk about a twist no one saw coming.
You always manage to do a good job with descriptions/imagery and allowing the reader to be a part of the story. Even with simple dialogue, the underlying uneasiness between Santa and Jack, was quite palpable. I was with Laddie all the way (heck I even thought Frost was an advanced zombie of some sort. Hah!) And with something innocous as Jack stating he was studying Biophysics and viruses; now that should have been a warning bell from the get go. Well done in tying that all together at the end!
And did I forget to mention how exciting, yet gory, you made that fight scene at the end? I was literally going 'if Laddie gets it, I'm not reviewing this thing anymore!' But she was a super pup, and I'm glad those three made it in the end. Frost got his just desserts as well (though a part of me is sure he'll find a way to revive himself somehow
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>>I exchanged (a) baffled glanced (glance) with Nicolette.
When I saw the activity you wrote this for, I was sure Jeremy was probably high on something - I mean...zombies and Christmas?? What?? And yet, you managed to pull it off with this one. So kudos to you! It was definitely a fun read. Thanks for sharing, and write on!
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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