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A changeling spirit,
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revolving around an inner core,
spinning forth legend and lore,
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as I come to grips
with who and what I am,
have been and may be.
I am a phoenix:
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Review #4791681
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 Christmas Present (Past) Open in new Window. [E]
For the cup
by Fyn-elf Author Icon
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#4791681
Review by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hallo Fyn-elf Author Icon!*Smile* I will be reviewing your work
 Christmas Present (Past) Open in new Window. (E)
For the cup
#2176408 by Fyn-elf Author IconMail Icon


*Note*Content:

With the prompt stated at the beginning of this, I am going to assume that is based off real life events (if not, I apologize in advance).

All the same, the range of emotions you're able to convey with this piece is excellent. From the first stanza, where we are introduced to a single mother and her one-month old daughter who appear to be far away from home (or what they've always considered home) with seemingly no one to turn to. The description of the tree is a wonderful analogy to what this mother is going through and even the meager attempts to decorate it encapsulates their current state of affairs.

I did find it sweet that there was at least an ornament on the tree in honor of the baby.

However, the mother's pain is seen after her role is fulfilled for the day and she is left to weep bitterly over their current plight while her baby sleeps. The reader is almost obliged to shed a tear in solidarity, or perhaps reach into the screen to provide the love and company they both desire.

Two particular sections stood out to me; the first:

Fell asleep on the threadbare rug
in front of the tree and dreamed
Santa came and fixed everything.


And this section:

She didn't care about any of the things
I was so unhappy about. She had everything
she needed.


Incredibly powerful imagery with a message that sometimes, it really is the littlest things that make all the difference. While we weep and gnash our teeth over things we cannot control, we need to be reminded that it's, sometimes, just the realization of what we have right in front of us should be the most important thing of all; in this case her daughter's oblivious happiness that seeps into the narrator's psyche and changes her entire outlook as evidenced by the last three lines of the poem.

This was a delight to read, and I'm glad you shared it with us. Keep on writing! *Smile*



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