NAME: Eldon
AGE: 16
RACE: Human
OCCUPATION: Tailor’s apprentice
MOTIVATION: To impress a girl and show up his horse’s ass of an older brother.
COMBAT PROWESS: Minimal
MAGICAL APTITUDE: None
SURVIVAL OUTLOOK: Grim

Having spent his entire life as a youth who’s barely seen outside the perimeter of his own village, Eldon is new to the adventuring life. Other than being his older brother’s novice sparring partner, he is completely untrained in the ways of combat, magic, or anything with an offensive capability. But he is quick, both with his wits and his movements. Unsure of what the adventuring life has in store, he’s leaving home for the first times in hopes that his story (assuming he returns safely to tell it!) will help the girl of his dreams achieve her goal of becoming a renowned scribe.

The life of a tailor is a good one. Unless, of course, you have any aspirations for power, fame, wealth, or wenches. In that case, spending your days sewing other people’s clothes is decidedly not good, and certainly explained why Eldon and his older brother Elazar had such different experiences with at least two, arguably three of those four things.

Elazar left home just as soon as he was big enough to hold a sword. He set out on a life of adventure, leaving Eldon with the responsibility of taking over the family business. So while Elazar roamed the land and periodically returned home to regale the town with stories of his exploits, Eldon was the one forced to learn the difference between a basting stitch and a darning stitch, and the one that had to practice until he could sew a consistent running stitch with his eyes closed. Which was not an exaggeration; his father actually tested him on that.

Whenever Elazar came home to boast of his adventures, most of the locals gathered at his tavern of choice, and bought him drinks as he recounted faraway lands and amazing feats of bravery. It was a rare night that he didn’t go home with at least one barmaid or farmer’s daughter.

During these story sessions, Eldon would sit near the back of the tavern and watch the reactions of the crowd as his older brother told stories. The blacksmith’s daughter looked at Elazar with stars in her eyes, yet there were no stars to be found in her eyes when Eldon told her about how he had managed to repair the hem on her favorite skirt for the tenth time. Most of these moments were of trifling concern, but the one that really twisted his running stitch into knots was that the clerk’s new apprentice, Yara, seemed just as impressed with Elazar as everyone else. Which would also be of trifling concern, if not for the fact that Eldon had been desperately in love with her since they first met upon her arrival in town.

“That was an amazing story,” Yara gushed as Elazar finished his latest tale and joined Eldon at the bar. “You’re so brave!”

“All in a day’s work for an intrepid adventurer,” Elazar replied, appraising Yara’s fine figure.

“Are you going to answer the Elven King’s call to action?”

“Huh?”

“The Elven King. Haven’t you heard? Their great wizard Gulon is missing and the Elven King is offering the eternal gratitude of the Elven Kingdom, as well as a vial of the Elixir of Life to anyone who can rescue Gulon! The Guardians of the Forest of Sorrows are accepting applications all week.”

Elazar shifted uncomfortably in his seat and drained the last of his ale.

“Well,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “That certainly sounds like a challenge worthy of my adventuring exploits, but I’ll have to check my calendar. I might have a conflict with an existing commitment to a raid against the southern Goblin Empire.”

“I understand,” Yara said, disappointed. “I was just hoping someone from our small village would go. I want to get my writing career off the ground and a biography on the man who saved Gulon would all but guarantee me a place at the Academy of Words!”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Elazar said, then excused himself to go pursue another pretty girl batting her eyelashes at him from across the tavern.

“You know,” Eldon said, summoning every ounce of courage he could find. “If he has other plans, I could go and you could write about me.”

“Really?” she asked, face brightening.

“Sure,” Eldon replied. “Someone has to get the elves’ wizard back, right?”

Yara squealed with delight and threw her arms around Eldon.

“Oh, thank you, Eldon! You have no idea what this means to me! Can you wait right here while I run home and grab my notebook? I’d love to interview you about your thoughts and expectations before you leave!”

“Sure.”

Yara bolted for the door.

“I think your pick-up lines need work,” Elazar said, wandering back his brother’s way with the pretty girl under his arm. “Where’d she run off to in such a hurry?”

“To get her notebook. She wants to interview me before I apply for the quest to save Gulon.”

Elazar’s face grows ashen.

“You’re... applying?”

“Why not? You’ve had such amazing adventures and make it seem so easy. Maybe I should give it a try myself.”

“Well... uh... yeah, I mean adventuring is great... and super easy for someone like me... but--”

He removes his arm from the girl and pats her on the behind.

“You head up to the room and I’ll be there in a minute,” Elazar tells her. “Just going to give my baby brother here a little adventuring advice.”

She gives him a quick peck on the cheek and then heads upstairs. Once she’s out of earshot, Elazar turns back to Eldon with a panicked look on his face.

“You cannot apply for that quest, Eldon!”

“Why not? Are you the only one in the family that’s allowed to go on adventures? The only one who’s allowed to impress girls with tales of his exploits?”

“Look, Eldon--”

“It’s my turn, Elazar! I want to do something meaningful with my life, I--”

“Eldon, listen to me...”

“You don’t think I can do it, do you? You think I’m weak and stupid and--”

“I haven’t really been on any adventures, okay?” Elazar hisses under his breath. Eldon stops talking and blinks several times as if trying to comprehend the statement.

“But, you--”

“I go into the city and spend a few weeks getting drunk with my friends. Sometimes I’ll buy a trinket from a local merchant and claim I got it on a quest!”

“Why are you telling me this now? And more importantly, UGH! Why are you such a horse’s ass?”

“I’m telling you because I’ve seen real adventurers come through town. It’s not some romantic lifestyle, Eldon. It’s brutal out there. Guys come back with horrible scars and missing limbs and stories of how friends have died horrible, horrible deaths. It’s only a glamorous profession if you manage to live long enough to enjoy it. I don’t know about you, but I like my limbs right where they are, and scars are most decidedly not a turn on for the ladies.”

“Maybe not for the ones you’re interested in, but the only one I care about needs a story. And there apparently isn’t anyone else in the family who’s actually up for the challenge.”

The door to the tavern swung open as Yara rushed back inside.

“Got it!” she said breathlessly. She looked from one brother to the next, not sure what serious business she had just walked in on. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” Eldon said, turning to her and smiling brightly. “Elazar was just wishing me good luck on the quest before heading up to bed.”

“Eldon--”

“You should probably go, brother. You don’t want to keep your new friend waiting too long. I’ll see you when I get back.”

Elazar shook his head and went upstairs, leaving Eldon and Yara alone.

“Well,” Eldon said with a sheepish grin. “What did you want to ask before I leave?”


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(1,221 words)