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About Tehuti
I am an amateur writer of novels, serials, and novellas. Most of my work is in the genres of fantasy, mythology, drama, occult, GLBT, and erotica.
As I'm not seeking publication, I offer my work online for free reading. I'm not seeking stylistic critique so much as feedback from people who just like reading what I write. I love hearing what people think of my characters, plots, themes, etc., so if you have any comments or advice on those, feel free to share. I'm not hugely popular and often go many months without hearing from readers so I enjoy all the comments I get!
My interests are Ojibwa mythology, Mackinac Island, Egyptian mythology, Jungian symbolism and dream interpretation, ritual crime, fantasy writing, and various other things you can find in my personal bio, available just to the right. Please click to learn more about me and what I'm looking for in terms of readers and potential friends.
Feel free to hit me up if you're interested in any of these things, and enjoy my writing!
Tar! :) |
Come Away CODE: M (set in the Manitou Island storyline)
TAKES PLACE DURING (specific story): NA
PAIRING: Manabozho/Lily Flower (M/F)
EXPLANATION: This scene was kinda a mistake. ^_^; You see, it was only AFTER I had written this that I remembered...LILY FLOWER IS MARRIED!! To my character White Coyote! >_< I felt THOROUGHLY stupid after realizing this. Then I thought, well, why should it matter? Maybe Lily Flower isn't HAPPY with White Coyote? The thought of her running off with half-manitou Manabozho was an appealing one. Granted, she's a virgin in this scene, and I don't really see how she could be if she's been with White Coyote as long as she has...unless she was way unhappier than I thought...so I might need to fix that sometime. But eloping with Manabozho...I did like that idea at the time, but it's not fitting in with the storyline as it's playing out, so please just consider this scene out of continuity. Gar!!
DISCLAIMERS: Aside from the big-ass plothole I mentioned above... ^_^; I used to have "none" listed, but on proofing this I found plenty. Firstly, I just don't think this scene ever took place in the existing storyline; sorry, 'Bozho! Maybe you'll get lucky some other time. Secondly, the story of Manabozho's own conception is slightly off; see Return To Manitou Island for more on that. Thirdly, what the hell is this about a "manitou queen"?? "Queen" is a EUROPEAN term and NOT one that Manabozho would use! The proper term would be ogimah-quae, though I don't imagine Manabozho using this because...fourthly, I DON'T THINK HE HAS HALF THE POWERS HE CLAIMS IN THIS SCENE! He doesn't seem to have his own lodge, he can't control the seasons, he can't turn humans into manitous, etc. etc.--basically, he has superhuman strength, and can manipulate wind and earth, and shapeshift, and command some lesser manitous, but none of the grand things he claims here! Was I writing him WAY out of character or what?? Fifthly, I think the "brideprice" detail is off...I seem to recall reading somewhere that the groom was actually the one who was given a lot of stuff when he took in a bride, but I might be wrong on that, and besides, I take liberties with my tribe! Nyeh! And lastly...um...cripes. I forget! o_o; Oh yeah. Another thing is when Manabozho speaks about his father. In the storyline, he actually detests his father, and I doubt that he would claim being like him in any way, even if he is. THIS SCENE IS SO OOC THAT IT'S NOT FUNNY. There, that summarizes it. Enjoy.
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Come Away
He gently but firmly pressed her back against the tree, and their mouths met again. A throbbing ache rose between her legs. She couldn't believe the lust she felt now. She had seen her father and his new wife make love before, at the far side of the room in the dark, their bodies shifting slowly beneath the furs that covered them, had even seen her father's look of ecstasy as their hips moved, his wife swaying above him. In the summer, when it was hot, they coupled bare and unhidden and she had always noticed the way their hands roamed each other's body, the salty sweet smell of their sweat, their soft yet urgent panting. They were only her parents; seeing this had never filled her with much desire. Yet now she felt it, surging and strong, consuming her. She had never made love before. She wanted to, oh so badly, right now.
Their lips bit and sucked. She embraced him to her; his hands, cupped behind her back, now slid down to grasp her firm buttocks, earning a soft gasp. Her skin flushed. She'd felt his distinct hardness against her when he'd squeezed.
His lips found her ear and now one hand gently fondled her breast through her clothes, the other still on her hip. Her breath grew faster as he slipped it beneath her dress and between her legs. She shifted one so she was parted, just slightly, for him. His fingers found her moist womanhood, took hold of the swollen hood there, rubbed it between them and tweaked it; Lily Flower gasped and stiffened at the bolt that was sent coursing through her. Just as her body began to slightly relax, still trembling, his wet fingers slipped slowly inside of her, prodding and testing. Her breathing again sped up.
He sucked and bit at her earlobe. "You're untouched..."
"Yes," she whispered, voice husky.
"You're certain...?"
"Yes. Please." She ran her hands down his back, caressing his tight muscles. He wasn't big, but he was strong.
His kiss moved to her neck. His fingers splayed her open and rubbed against her tender spot, setting her to trembling wildly and moaning with need.
"If you bear my child," he whispered, "it will be part manitou. Like me. It will have powers as I do."
Lily Flower only whimpered. The thought of mating with him drove her wild. Who he was...how powerful he was...what could come of their union, even if she could not wed him...all of these thoughts made her whimper and clutch him all the more tightly to her.
"Please."
He said nothing more. Their mouths met again, searching, exploring, and she arched herself against the tree as he slipped open her dress at the side, pulling it open to reveal her trembling bounty. Lily Flower suppressed a sob and shut her eyes. Her fluids made her legs slick; his touch set her afire. He fumbled briefly with his loincloth and then took her hand. She held her breath until she felt her fingers wrap around something hard and warm. She gasped softly and moved her fingers up, then down, feeling the smoothness. His own breath picked up, growing husky, and she knew now what she touched. Her face flushed a second time yet she didn't let go. Indeed, the pleasure filled her all the more; shivering with delight, she slid her hand slowly up and down his quivering shaft, admiring his size and hardness. The thought of him being inside her...her ache only grew.
He stopped her motions after a moment or so, and kissed her, and she sensed his impatience. She couldn't help but giggle giddily. Both hands now slipped beneath her dress and splayed her womanhood open, sliding between her buttocks to separate them. Lily Flower panted and shifted, spreading her legs wide yet still standing, leaning into the trunk of the tree, its bark rough against her buttocks. He held her hips and carefully moved himself forward, breath coming in quick spurts. She arched her neck when his throbbing tip began to push into her.
"Manabozho..."
His teeth scored her shoulder. He clenched her hips and buried himself deeply within her yielding softness. Lily Flower tightened and arched, crying out to the sky, clawing his back and drawing blood. He grunted, whether in pain or desire she didn't know; she didn't care, as he clutched her more tightly and began to thrust. She held herself to him, moving with his own motions, their bodies shifting rapidly in their need.
Throughout most of it, she kept her eyes shut. The pleasure welling up inside her was simply too great. The first push had hurt, a brief sting, but everything afterwards...she would have endured pain a hundred times greater just to feel this, to be with him. Since their first tentative kiss she had longed for him. She knew that it was not wise, to give herself so freely before marriage, yet couldn't help it. It was either this, or die from the agony of not knowing how he felt, inside her.
She clutched his shoulders and leaned forward so her head pressed to him, crying. One leg wrapped around his own and caressed up and down. He held onto her back, and onto one buttock, pushing her onto him as he moved. When she lifted her head he kissed her again and she moaned into his mouth. Their tongues met and twined, parted, met again. His hand slid from her back, beneath her dress to tweak at her nipple and fondle her firm softness. Lily Flower sobbed and threw back her head.
He went quickly, hurriedly, so the act did not last long. Which might have been a good thing, with how abruptly Lily Flower came. She'd never felt this before, even on the one or two occasions when she had touched herself in private, usually feeling disgust afterwards. She felt no disgust now; only overwhelming passion and ecstasy, her lover's soft grunt and rush of seed impelling her into a screaming frenzy. She bucked against him, arching sharply, and cried out at the sky again. She had enough time to catch sight of him before his own climax died, his hands grasping her tightly in behind, his own head thrown back as he panted and quivered in release. She shuddered, accepting his fluid, feeling her own slickening their hot bodies when they both sank, she moaning softly, he holding her up so she wouldn't fall. She rested against him weakly, to regain her strength. They stood panting in the woods together, not saying a word, the birds singing the only sound.
After some time she lifted her head to kiss him, offered herself to him again; of course, he accepted. Lily Flower bent herself down over a fallen boulder and grasped it in her arms. She shivered in pleasure when he pushed aside her dress and ran his hands over her skin. It prickled at his touch; she could very nearly feel his medicine, working upon her, within her, setting her blood to boiling. She moaned, louder, and he recognized her desperate sound, and slipped his fingers within her crack, splaying her again. She heard his breath, thicker now, the typical sound of a man's lust, as he mounted her and guided his penis inside. She shut her eyes and murmured. Searing, fiery heat slowly eased its way inside of her, deeper, deeper. Her eyes rolled back beneath their lids and her mouth fell open. He slipped his arms beneath her own to grasp her shoulders from the front, and, spreading his knees, bumped forward with an animal sound of pleasure. She gasped, arched; allowed his hands to slip down to her breasts, pulling up her dress to her chest so she was bared to him, cupping the mounds of flesh as they started to move once more.
Oddly enough, this time they went more slowly, savoring the feel, taking their time. She would have worried about being seen, had she cared. The truth was, she didn't. Not when she was with him. As he gently pushed against her he leaned down to nibble at her ear, lick her neck, lightly bite her nape. She sucked in a deep breath and spread her knees wider, appreciating his loud groan. His desire fueled her own. She ran her fingers over his testicles, dangling behind her, and enjoyed the rapid spurt of his breath, the increased aggression of his touches. Certainly, she enjoyed their leisurely lovemaking, here in the deep woods, sunlight glinting over their glazed bodies; yet another part of her desired a quick, rough, brutish ending. She giggled breathlessly and swayed beneath him, his hips swinging forward and back, forward and back. He growled softly and bit at her ear and she giggled again, raking her nails over his arm.
For a while, they continued as such, until both were satisfied and wished to continue. Only then did he begin to pound into her, his fingers digging into her fleshy thighs, hips bucking hard against her own, spearing her repeatedly upon himself. Lily Flower bucked and arched beneath her lover, head permanently back, neck bared, fingers digging. She shut her eyes and cried out, cried out again.
"Manabozho! Oh! Manabozho!"
He grunted with strain, and his fingers brushed her face. He murmured her name and burrowed his face against her neck. She sobbed again, bumps rising all along her skin.
"Oh...oh yes...Manabozho..."
She briefly thought of the story that she had heard, of his mother, how he and his siblings were born--a young woman in the woods alone, bent to retrieve a mushroom or a berry or some other, and a lustful manitou spotting her from afar. Taking the form of wind, wrapping his arms about her, seducing her, drawing her to him, impaling her, filling her with his seed not once but four times...
Lily Flower shrieked. Manabozho grunted loudly--"Unh!"--and clutched her tight in his arms. Their hips shook. She moaned long and low at the feel of the hot semen flowing inside. Though she would be on her own...she rather wished that he would get her with child...a powerful child...one like himself. She whimpered at the thought.
Exhaustion overtook her strained muscles, and as soon as his flow had died, and her insides had relaxed, she slowly began to sink. Manabozho caught her under the arms and pulled her carefully to her feet; he drew her against him, and she clung to him as if he had saved her life. They ended up lying upon the ground, she tucked into the crook of his arms as he panted to catch his breath; with a shiver she snuggled closer and let out an exhausted sigh. They both lay against the fallen boulder for a good long while, recovering, listening to the birds and the breeze around them. For a long time, neither spoke. Lily Flower was content to doze in his embrace, smelling his salty skin, running her fingers along his taut chest and belly. For a while she even rubbed her hand lazily over his crotch, teasing his manhood to quivering and rising until it emitted a pearly bead of fluid, before he would gently pull her hand away each time. He had superb control over himself, she saw. When he finally touched her in turn, it was mere moments before she writhed and whimpered, Manabozho smirking at her as his fingers rapidly moved up and down, in and out. Lily Flower grasped his wrist and pulled his hand away before she could go crazy inside. After this he gave a low chuckle and pulled her close again, stroking her hair. She sighed and nestled to him, hand on his breast.
His touch was light, feathery. He pressed his lips to her ear.
"If you did bear a child...what would you do?"
Lily Flower shut her eyes and sighed.
"I do not know."
"Would you tell them where it had come from? Or keep this to yourself?"
"I...I suppose I would have to tell them, eventually. If the child was yours. It would show. I could not hide that."
"And they would allow you to keep it? With no troubles?"
With some surprise she noticed that he was as puzzled and confused as she was. "I...I don't know," she admitted. She hadn't wanted to think about it, too much.
He kissed her neck, caressed her cheek.
"I would gladly wed you, Lily Flower, and you could raise him with me."
Lily Flower's eyes opened abruptly and she blinked. She lifted her head tentatively to see if he joked; his eyes were tender, sincere, and he brushed his fingers against the side of her surprised face.
"You know that I mean it."
"You...you mean you..."
"I don't know how you couldn't have seen it until now. I love you, Lily Flower. I want you to be my wife." He nuzzled at the space behind her ear. "You could come with me, to my lodge, and have everything you've ever wanted. Anywhere you've ever wished to go, I could take you there. You would never need anything again. You could even be like me, of the manitous, and you would never grow old or die. I could make you happy. And I know that you would make me happy." He pulled his head back to look into her still-shocked eyes. "Will you accept? Will you come away with me?"
She could only stare at him, not quite believing what she was hearing. Though she had felt strongly about him, from the first...she'd thought that his own feelings had merely been a momentary lust. The spirits were often like that. She had merely been willing to go along with his desires. But now...if everything he was saying was true...
"Come...come away...with you...?" she whispered.
"Yes. Be my wife." He took her face in his hands and smiled at her. "Not just to tend to my lodge though, either. You would never have to, if you didn't wish to. It's a very large lodge. With woodland and lakes all around. It's always summer. I know that you love the summer, already." He kissed her forehead. "Yet if you ever wanted winter, then winter it would be, just for you. Everything you've ever wanted. I would make you a manitou queen if you wished." He looked into her eyes now, searching. "Lily Flower? Will you?"
She bit her lip and averted her eyes. "I...I don't know...my father..."
"I would offer him a generous brideprice. One such as he's never seen before, surely. And one for your sisters, as well, if this were not enough. Anything to cover the loss."
Lily Flower sucked in a breath and shook her head in disbelief. "Why...why all of this just for me? Surely there are many more you can choose from? Ones like yourself--manitous? Why would you choose me for all of this?"
"There's no reason why. It simply is. You would try to explain it?" Another quick kiss, and a smile. "Love rarely makes sense, Sweet Flower. My own father fell for a mortal. Why shouldn't the son do the same?"
"I'm not the loveliest..."
"You are to me." His smile dimmed a little, and he paused. "You...don't wish to come with me...do you?"
Lily Flower gasped and lifted her eyes. "Oh--no! This isn't it!"
"Yet I sense your reluctance to leave." He let go of her face, and though he didn't pull away, she sensed him distancing himself, just a tiny bit. She quailed inside. Had he been turned down by others? Who would be so foolish as to turn down a manitou, except herself? He took her hand, and she blushed furiously.
"If you do not wish to come with me, Lily Flower...I will not ever be angry with you."
She let out her breath.
"Not...not angry...?"
"No. Disappointed...yes." She felt a pain in her heart. "But never angry. You don't have to act as if you should fear me, if you decide not to come...although I do wish that I could change your mind..."
She bit her lip again and her eyes grew damp. "My...my father. And my sisters. I...I do want to go with you, Manabozho, so much...but...I feel I should be with them...stay with them. I so wish that I could have both, both you and them..." She leaned against the rock, shutting her eyes, but he took her by the shoulders and laid her against himself and stroked her hair again. Once more they sat in silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts. Lily Flower's lip trembled and the tears squeezed from her eyes.
"Pretty Flower...if you could have anything you wanted...anything at all, to make you happiest...what would it be?"
She sniffed and rubbed her eyes.
"I would be with you. I would be your wife. Yet...I would never leave my family. I would have both of you." She sat up and rubbed at her eyes even harder, choking back a sob. "But I can't have you both..."
"Who says this?" He sat forward and brushed his loincloth over himself, as she could tell that he was still excited. "Beautiful Flower...I wouldn't make you choose so cruelly. You care for your family...this is honorable. You care for me, also?"
"Yes, of course, Manabozho...dear Rabbit."
He took her hand and helped her to her feet. For a moment they were preoccupied with brushing their clothing down, straightening themselves out, their clothes and hair still mussed from their lovemaking. He brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face and she flushed when he smiled down at her, his fingers gentle. He cupped her cheek.
"Please, Lily Flower...if I leave the right sign...will you come to my lodge tomorrow? If only for the day? I wish to show it to you. You needn't ever come back if you don't wish to. But I want for you to see it for yourself. If I leave the proper sign with your father. Will you do this for me? And then decide?" He kissed her upon the lips, very tenderly, almost chastely, yet somehow it caused the burning ache to rise up in her all the more. "You need never choose between us, sweet one, yet I still want you to see what I would give to you, even just a taste. Will you?"
Lily Flower flushed once more, hands clasped in front of her. "Y...yes, of course," she murmured. "Of course...I'll come. But...sign? How will I know what the sign is?"
The corner of his mouth twitched up and he lightly chucked her chin. "Your father will know...when he sees it. He'll know all that it means." One more light kiss to the forehead, and she felt his hands slip from hers. "Go, and take some rest, sweet one...I'll be back for you. I promise."
Lily Flower kept her eyes closed as he pulled away from her. She took a deep breath, smelled his scent in the air--sweat, seed, leather, and rabbit musk--and then opened her eyes.
When she looked about herself again, he was gone.
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Thank you!
This item is not looking for critique. It was written solely for entertainment's sake. Although a scene from a possibly longer story, it is complete in itself and unless otherwise stated there is not going to be any more of it written. Additional unrelated SCENES may be written, but single scenes themselves are complete as they are. So please do not expect more. If you are interested in reading the series which INSPIRED the scene, just look elsewhere in my portfolio and you should find something. (Use the "story codes" given in the scene headers. For example, "MI" = "Manitou Island" series.)
I am not looking for critique on grammar, spelling, style, sentence structure, flow, or the mechanics of writing. What I AM interested in is commentary on such things as characterization, plot, symbolism, theme, etc.--the deeper aspects of the story. I like to know if a scene is believable, if the characters are interesting, what you thought of how they interacted, if the writing evoked any emotions, things such as that.
Feel free to criticize, but just keep in mind that I'm working on more important projects and shared this just for fun and/or to illustrate character interactions, so I don't plan to revise it any time soon. Comments on the characters, theme, etc. are more than welcome. 
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© Copyright 2003 Tehuti, Lord Of The Eight (tehuti_88 at Writing.Com).
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This page last updated 11/11/09. Still under construction so may change at any time.
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