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About Tehuti
I am an amateur writer of novels, serials, and novellas. Most of my work is in the genres of fantasy, mythology, drama, occult, GLBT, and erotica.
As I'm not seeking publication, I offer my work online for free reading. I'm not seeking stylistic critique so much as feedback from people who just like reading what I write. I love hearing what people think of my characters, plots, themes, etc., so if you have any comments or advice on those, feel free to share. I'm not hugely popular and often go many months without hearing from readers so I enjoy all the comments I get!
My interests are Ojibwa mythology, Mackinac Island, Egyptian mythology, Jungian symbolism and dream interpretation, ritual crime, fantasy writing, and various other things you can find in my personal bio, available just to the right. Please click to learn more about me and what I'm looking for in terms of readers and potential friends.
Feel free to hit me up if you're interested in any of these things, and enjoy my writing!
Tar! :) |
Getting To Know You CODE: D (set in the D Is For Damien storyline)
TAKES PLACE DURING (specific story): Scene 1: Blood Secrets (?) (unwritten); Scene 2: NA
PAIRING: Det. Chance Devetko/Russell Whittaker (M/M)
EXPLANATION: Okies. This is kinda complex. I prefer to think of this particular pairing as the one real time that Devetko showed his "wild side." Such as it is. O_o Devetko, as you may have been able to guess, is pretty straitlaced and by the book, and does NOT like doing things spontaneously. At the time of these scenes (in the first, unfinished, novel he ever appeared in, when he was first partnered with Kristeva--Blood Secrets, I think), he was even more so like this, and very uptight and humorless. Kristeva's loosened him up some since then, but anyway. Russell is a disturbed young man with multiple personalities...he was going to play a bigger role in the series, but has since faded out. I think he was committed somewhere. Who knows. He wheedled after Devetko to join him, and...in what must have been a fit of temporary insanity, Devetko agreed. This was WAY out of character for him, but...I insist that it happened...so he must have just been rebelling against himself. Like I said, who knows, really. In "Taking Turns" he even goes so far as not using any protection. !!! (For Dev, back then, that was a REALLY big thing to forego!) The two of them shared a few times together, then Russell had to be carted off because he was so unstable...and Dev put his head back on straight and not long after met Brooks. Or rather, was introduced to Brooks by Kristeva, and reluctantly agreed to go out with him...but that's another scene altogether. Somewhere along the way Russell and Dev meet again, but only briefly, and of course by then, while Devetko is still concerned about Russell's well-being, he doesn't really want anything more to do with him as a romantic interest. It takes Russell a long time to get over him, however.
DISCLAIMERS: I think I already explained those...Dev is NOT acting like himself in either of these scenes, but as I said I think he went temporarily nuts...thankfully Brooks managed to set him straight...er, so to speak. o_o; Also beware some POV trouble. Oh. And about Devetko's former partners in "Taking Turns," never letting him be passive before now--? I think he actually has had only ONE partner before this scene (see "Some Kind Of Sign")--and Dev was in fact usually the passive party! So ignore all that blather, please.
* * * * *
Getting To Know You
"Detective?" Russell called, hesitantly. Then, a little louder, "Chance?"
Detective Devetko paused and reluctantly turned back. He had to get home; it was late. He didn't want to stay any longer than he had to. Yet the look on Russell's face made him pause. The younger man took a timid step forward. He swallowed as if to gather himself.
"Could you stay a while?" he finally managed, his voice almost so quiet as to be a whisper. He was twisting his fingers behind his back. "I--um...I'd like you to stay a while." He looked at the floor.
In the back of his head Devetko was beginning to understand what he meant. He was a little surprised to find himself considering the offer. However, he didn't quite work that way. He stepped forward.
"Russell," he said, using the man's first name. Russell glanced up at him. Devetko managed a sincere-looking smile. He wanted to pat Russell's shoulder but felt that the gesture would be too familiar and defeat the whole purpose. He clasped his hands instead.
"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head slightly. "I barely know you."
"I feel like we've known each other forever," Russell said, taking another step forward, closer. His voice dropped. "Don't tell me you don't feel anything. Not after yesterday."
Devetko felt a pang. This had all been a bad idea. "I'm sorry, Russell. I don't just hook up with people I've just met."
"But you can trust me," Russell insisted. He took the detective's hand and held it. Devetko didn't pull back; he just stared at his hand as if trapped. "I trust you. I don't trust many people that easy. But I trusted you right away."
Devetko shook his head numbly. "Russell--"
"I know there's something here," Russell continued in a murmur. He clasped Devetko's fingers, and the detective actually felt his heart speed up. "I know there's something that you're not faking. Everybody else fakes. But you don't. Even if Detective Kristeva hadn't told me about you I'd've been able to tell."
"Russell--" He finally pried his fingers loose, stepping back and shaking his head. "This is going too fast. You don't know me, and you don't even know what you want."
"I know what I want," Russell said, taking his hand again. Devetko could feel his fingers pressing warm against his, almost massaging. "I want you." He added hastily, as if to make the statement clearer, "With me."
God, he's so young, Devetko thought, staring at him. He doesn't even know what he can get himself into. Yet he felt an ache inside him, as well as his heartbeat speeding up again, as Russell rubbed his fingers.
Russell took one more step forward so they stood face to face. For a long time neither moved. Finally, Russell leaned forward and slowly, tentatively, kissed Devetko on the mouth. A moment or two passed, then he tried again. This time Devetko opened his mouth just slightly, and, growing more hopeful, Russell did the same, and they gingerly tasted each other. Russell's heart started fluttering. Devetko reached up and gently brushed his fingertips against the side of Russell's face. The touch was awkward yet tender, that of someone who's still unsure of what he should be doing. Both of them were moving slowly, as if it were their first time.
How long had it been since he'd been with somebody? Devetko couldn't remember. It must have been quite a while, though, with how careful he always was. He'd never taken any chances. He supposed there was a certain irony to his given name.
Am I ready to take a chance now? he asked himself, as he and Russell opened further to each other, allowing their mouths to explore. No, I'm not, he answered himself firmly. Which is why I'm not taking a chance now. I do trust him. Even if we have just met.
It was rare that he trusted someone that implicitly.
Russell, meanwhile, was responding equally favorably to the detective's gentle touch. It was true that he'd never felt quite this way before. No one had ever bothered to treat him well. They'd all been rough, even the ones he'd thought he'd liked. Yet here was Chance, touching him as softly as anyone could, returning his growing emotions of love and hope and desire. His breath was beginning to come faster in his throat.
Come on, Chance, a voice in Devetko's head said. He's here, you're here--you both want each other. You trust him. Go for it.
Would it be so easy?
He ran his hands down Russell's neck, gently grasping his shoulders. He could see the bed behind him, and backed Russell slowly toward it. His own heart was pounding by now, and he could feel himself beginning to stir. Easy now. Make sure to leave an escape for him should he want it. Which, for some reason, he didn't doubt.
As soon as Russell felt the bed against the backs of his legs they both sank down over it. Devetko continued kissing him and stroking his arms. Russell returned the gesture, running his hands down the detective's back.
Top or bottom? Devetko didn't ask. He could tell that, at least this time, he was going to be taking charge.
He pulled away slightly to reach into his pants pocket. He always carried one along, not because he necessarily needed one but because he wasn't going to take the chance. No matter who he happened to be with. That was the way he was.
Still holding it in one hand, he reached for Russell's belt to undo it. The whole time they kissed. Devetko broke contact only when he undid his own belt and pants and slipped it on. As Russell panted he grasped his shoulder again and turned him over so he knelt over the bed. Devetko pressed against him, Russell's skin warm against his thighs. Breathing heavily now, readier than he'd ever been, he positioned himself and pushed upward, finally entering him. He let out a breath and Russell moaned into the mattress. Panting, Devetko reached in front to grasp him and squeezed, then, as he started thrusting slowly and evenly, ran his hands up and down, stroking him until he was hard and erect, throbbing, keeping the stroking in time with his own pushes in an attempt to maximize his partner's pleasure. He'd done it before and it had worked; he had no reason to believe that it wouldn't now. So far it seemed to be.
Russell moaned again, burrowing his head and digging his fingers into the bed. Devetko kept his thrusting slow and measured. He'd never believed in rushing things. He continued running his hands along Russell's hardness, squeezing each time he reached the top. Russell was moving now, too, rocking slowly back and forth with Devetko's movements. Both of them were panting heavily. As they moved Devetko leaned over, kissing Russell's neck, tracing a line down his shoulder. Russell whimpered; his hands grasped the detective's, running them up and down, urging him to thrust faster, harder. His hardness quivered; he gasped in anticipation. Devetko did increase his strokes, but only slightly; he wasn't going to rush it. Together, they moved as one, rocking over the edge of the bed, bodies pressed against one another, fingers tangling, breath growing hotter and faster, swaying and stroking in rhythm--
Russell came first, gasping and spraying over the bed, wetting Devetko's hands as they clutched. At any other time the act would have shamed him, or turned the detective off; however, Devetko grunted slightly as he gave his final thrust, Russell's sudden release exciting him enough to trigger his own. As he felt it ebbing out of him his partner cried out and sprayed again, jerking against him. Devetko gave a strangled gasp and clutched Russell tightly, feeling both of their hardnesses dying away with the release of their fluid. His fingers loosened their grip and they both let out their breath. It was a while before the detective dared to move, sitting up and pulling slowly away, careful not to touch Russell with his wet hands. He unconsciously rubbed them together, trying to dry them, but forced himself not to think of the cause. Both he and Russell sat there panting.
Some time later Russell pushed himself up from the bed, turning around and sliding down to sit on the floor beside him. He was sweaty--as Devetko was sure that he himself must be--but managed a tired, satisfied smile, reaching out to grasp the detective's hand as he had before. Devetko felt that he had to say something, though he wasn't sure what; and his throat had gone dry, so he couldn't speak anyway. It didn't matter. Russell didn't speak either. For a long time they just sat there.
Taking Turns
Russell clasped Devetko's hand, and smiled when the detective clasped it back. In his head that was a sign from the policeman that everything was okay; since he knew that Chance wouldn't lie to him about things like that. He trusted Chance enough to believe that he wouldn't lie to him about anything.
He tugged on his hand to pull him closer; when Devetko stepped forward Russell kissed him, Devetko opening his mouth immediately on feeling Russell's tongue probing at his lips. There was none of the hesitation that had accompanied their first time together. He still wasn't certain if he wanted to be with Russell for good; though it wasn't like he was looking to get acquainted with anyone else. He thought Russell a bit too young for his tastes, yet he was an adult, and he was responding.
It was Russell who led them to the bed this time, instead of the other way around. Yet when they reached it again it was Devetko who took the lead; Russell allowed the older man to lower him, their tongues probing all the while. Russell gripped at his arms, raking his fingers as his heart thudded wildly in his chest. It was so much better not having to fear being hurt. Lovemaking had always been hurtful for him, no matter who he was with. Chance Devetko had changed all of that. Russell could tell that he was still a little leery of getting too involved, but so far the detective was all he'd ever hoped for. He didn't request anything, he didn't ask questions, and most of all he didn't hurt. Russell wasn't used to an egalitarian relationship. But he enjoyed being with Devetko.
For a long time they simply kissed and fondled each other, their hands exploring. Russell's heart wouldn't slow down. He just kept expecting a slap, or a pinch, or a painful gouge from the fingernails; yet all that he got was the tenderest, most exquisite caress which made his body burn with desire. He was responsive to Devetko slowly undressing him after he'd undressed himself; when Devetko took his hand, he allowed himself to be guided downward, touching and curling his fingers around the heat he felt there, just beginning to grow hard. He knew what the detective must want, and he knew how to give it to him. He started rubbing against him, up and down, his hands cupped. The breath caught in Devetko's throat; he broke away from Russell's mouth as if to look down at him.
Russell just smiled and moved against him faster. He started when the detective took his hand again, stopping him in midstroke. This time his glance was questioning.
"I'm sorry, don't you like that?" he asked.
Devetko shook his head, but Russell's anxiety died away when he said, "It's not that." He touched the younger man's face and lifted himself. "I want you to take your turn."
"Wait." Russell grabbed Devetko's arm before he could get up. When Devetko looked at him he shook his head, also touching his face. "I want to feel you," he whispered, his voice husky. "I want to feel you inside me."
The detective seemed puzzled. "You have."
Russell shook his head. "Again. I love your hands." He took Devetko's hands and caressed them. "I love the feel of your hands on me. I love the feel of you inside me. When you're in me and touching me it just feels like I'm on fire."
Devetko didn't say anything in response to that. The sudden outpouring made him feel awkward and self-conscious. For a moment he was silent, struggling to think of something to say.
"We're supposed to take turns," was all that he could think of, and even that sounded lame.
"I'd do anything you want. But when you're deep in me...I can't even describe it to you. I can't get enough of the way you make me feel. I drive myself crazy thinking about you when you're gone. If you'll even come back. It's like this pain inside me constantly. When I feel you inside me it all goes away."
Devetko felt his face growing hot, partly from embarrassment. He never would have said anything that Russell had. He'd been brought up to keep his thoughts to himself, especially private thoughts like that. As such he had absolutely nothing to say in response that would sound even remotely sincere. He'd never had the chance to think of anything.
After a moment or two, though, he smiled faintly, brushing the side of Russell's face with his fingers. Russell smiled back. He was so damn trusting. That could be his flaw. However, Devetko supposed that was what endeared him the most.
"I will," he said, meaning Russell's request to take control, "but on one condition."
Russell nodded, though his eyes looked a little guarded.
Devetko bent down his head to nuzzle Russell's neck. Russell closed his eyes and whimpered. The detective ran his hands down his arms. "First me, then you," he murmured. "Anything you want first. But you should have your own turn at it. I'm not always going to be the one inside you."
I wish you would be, Russell thought, but didn't say it. He simply nodded, and they tasted each other's mouth again, their hands moving. Devetko raised himself again; Russell now allowed him to turn him over onto his stomach, carefully lowering himself once more. Russell wished that he could face him at the same time, keep kissing him; however, the position wouldn't allow that. Devetko continuing to rub his shoulders and run his tongue over his neck, however, was almost as good. He wanted to take the detective's hardness in his hands again, yet he lay still and unmoving, as he always had, breathing hard into the pillow. He kept his arms straight at his sides but his fists were clenched. He felt Devetko running his hands over his back, down his sides, to his buttocks, reaching underneath to spread him open; he didn't immediately enter, instead continuing to fondle him, his fingers trailing under as far as they could go, to Russell's root; he was fully hard and erect, yet pressed into the bed; he could feel the throbbing beneath his legs. He moaned softly and tossed his head on the pillow. When he noticed Devetko start to pull away he lifted his head again.
"Could you--could you go without this time?" he asked, a little plaintively. Devetko glanced down at him, not fully understanding. Russell knew that he always used protection, and that was a good idea, but this time, just once, he wanted to truly feel him inside. He tried to explain. "I--I know how you feel about this. But...when I was in the hospital they did some tests on me. To make sure. I'm clean." It was true, but he hoped that he didn't sound like he was begging. "You don't need to... I--I want to feel you really in me. All the way. Everything. Especially when you--when you let go. At least this time."
Devetko stared at him for a while, struggling to decide. He never went without some kind of protection. It was simply too hazardous nowadays. Nevertheless, everything that Russell was saying made sense. He had been checked. He knew that he himself was clean, too; there was really nothing much to be afraid of. He'd been careful.
Come on. You have to make up your mind sometime.
Slowly, he reached out and set the little packet on the nightstand beside the bed. Russell's heart started thumping harder again. He does trust me. Nobody's ever trusted me but him. He lay back down and let Devetko pull apart his buttocks and mount him, penetrating him from behind. Both of them sucked in their breath. Aside from Russell, the detective hadn't allowed himself to be with anybody in quite a while; it was risky, and there were just too few chances anyway. Russell loved the feeling of letting someone else take complete control without inflicting pain. It was the ultimate measure of trust. Chance trusted him well enough, so he placed his faith in Chance not to hurt him. He knew that both of them could obtain the pleasure and release they both so greatly needed. For he could tell that they needed it, with the aching throb he felt inside him and between his own legs. Devetko kissed his neck, caressing his shoulders as Russell turned his head to the side, panting, letting the older man's tongue trail down his throat; further down Devetko moved against him, inside him, pushing in, pausing, and pulling out, again and again. The detective's breath was hot on his face; he actually nipped at Russell's ear with his teeth. Even that wasn't painful; Russell gasped at the unfamiliar reaction and writhed underneath him. He clutched at the sheets, his fingers digging in deeply, hissing between his teeth.
Half of him wished that his partner would go faster, harder; the other half responded eagerly to Devetko's strong but gentle thrusts. He'd felt too much pain to wish him to go too hard; he wasn't even sure how he'd take it after so long, especially from somebody he now trusted so much to be careful with him. He said nothing about it. He groaned in pleasure, both physical and emotional; if only it hadn't taken so long for him to find somebody like this. Or to be found by him. He prayed to whatever God there might be that they would stay lovers forever.
Devetko could feel himself getting ready to come. His blood was coursing faster in his veins, his heart pounding harder, the ache inside him growing deeper and more painful; he continued thrusting into Russell, tasting of him deeply, savoring the feel of someone so young, so supple and willing, and his own unencumbered freedom. He groaned noiselessly and breathlessly; Russell voiced his passion for him, moaning into the pillow, his cry muffled. Devetko didn't know whether to grab his hips or his shoulders; his own hips were pumping harder, though still not fast, his buttocks contracting with each successive thrust, going deeper and deeper inside. He finally clutched Russell's shoulders from the front, his arms hooked under his partner's; Russell let go of the sheets to dig his own fingers into the detective's hands as if to hold him there. He was moaning continuously now, lifting and throwing back his head, eyes closed tight and mouth wide. Devetko's teeth were clenched and he was panting heavily, almost snarling; his fingers dug into Russell's skin. When Russell gasped, crying out and tossing back his head further, Devetko pressed against him so they were cheek to cheek; his thrusting began to speed up now, as if he could no longer control himself or his tempo. The two of them started gasping in unison, faces together, eyes shut, Russell crying out at the air and Devetko gritting his teeth, their fingers digging deeper into each other. Russell writhed again; the detective responded to the arousing motion, his own legs tangling around Russell's, rubbing, his hips grinding. Russell could feel his hardness, agonizingly painful now, beneath him, and wished wildly that he could be touched. All that he could do was move in time with Devetko's increasingly frenzied thrusts. Instead of gasping, now the two of them were crying out together--it was something that Russell had never thought to hear from the older man, the passion, lust, and desire all mixed in his voice--yet he echoed it back himself as Devetko pushed faster, deeper, driving hard inside, whipping his own head back--
Russell let out a long, broken sob as he felt Devetko climax, the detective's muscles squeezing against him as his fluid spurted inside. Devetko felt himself tighten all over, especially inside Russell; he opened his mouth and let out his breath in a whoosh. Beneath Russell his own hardness was dying away, the sheets stained and wet. As his muscles loosened Devetko took in and let out another breath; panting, he managed to lift himself from his prone partner, who lay still, breathing heavily into the bed. The detective pulled himself away to lie down at his side, then reaching out to run a hand down his back. After a while the younger man lifted his head, his eyes still glazed, his breath still heavy.
Devetko was exhausted but he knew that he could handle it, knew that Russell could handle it too. He moved closer so they lay touching one another, and again brushed the side of his face with his hand. Russell snuggled up to him and allowed Devetko to nuzzle his neck. It seemed that all the younger man wanted to do was to be touched without pain. Devetko could give him that, at least. He still wasn't sure if it was the right thing for him.
As before, for a long time they only continued to touch one another, Devetko running his hands down Russell's sides to fondle his buttocks and thighs, gently cupping and squeezing him in front. Russell murmured and did the same, eager to please the detective. He tentatively reached out his leg to touch Devetko's; his partner's response was favorable. They pressed close, kissing and caressing, their hands and legs exploring as far as they liked. Devetko could feel the result of Russell's orgasm, wetting his front; he ignored it as he had the first time they'd been together, instead running his hands up and down without any disgust. He acted as if it were a stimulant, trailing his hands up Russell's chest.
The moment he began to feel his younger companion hardening he broke away. Russell's eyes looked hurt. At first he couldn't understand why Chance would react so well, obviously wanting more, and then back away just as he started to become aroused. Devetko smiled gently and moved away from him.
"Did I do something?" Russell asked, confused and upset.
Devetko shook his head and kissed him reassuringly. "No, but I want you to. Come over here to me."
Russell did so, still eager to please. He hesitated only slightly when the older man lay down this time, sighing into the pillow; almost immediately he was excited again, and climbed atop him, straddling him on both sides.
He'd never been the active party before. He'd always been passive. Yet something about this stimulated him more than ever. He didn't know if it was the feeling of control or not; all he knew was that he was ready. Now he would be able to truly please Chance! Instead of passively letting his partner take, he could now give. He actually licked his lips in anticipation; his breath coming in quick gasps, he squirmed his hips closer, tentatively separating Devetko beneath him; only now did a hint of anxiety appear. He hoped that he could do this right. Chance was waiting. He attempted to get into the correct position, fumbling a few times; he cast an embarrassed glance up but the detective wasn't moving or complaining, instead waiting patiently. As soon as Russell was sure that he was ready he held his breath and slowly, carefully, pushed inside. The unaccustomed feeling, the tightness, caused him to jerk once with a gasp; he recovered and smoothly pushed the rest of the way in, finally letting out his breath.
He really hasn't done this before. Devetko had felt both Russell's reluctance and his slight shock at entering the detective's body; he dimly hoped that the whole thing wouldn't be too much for him. However, as soon as Russell started moving, awkwardly pulling back and pushing in, he began to pick up a rhythm, and within a minute or two was thrusting steadily as if he'd been doing it his whole life. Devetko closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. It had been a very long time since he'd had someone inside him; for some reason his partners usually ended up asking him to take the lead. He didn't know why that was; perhaps they just sensed him as the leader type. He guessed that it was only once when he'd been the passive party, and it was a position he appreciated after so many years. Russell's hardness filling him made him want to cry out; instead he murmured into the pillow again, enjoying the exquisite pleasure of the act. His heart was thumping rapidly, his hardness pressing close against the bed. The back and forth motion, Russell's moving which caused him to move as well, with the sheets rubbing against him, aroused him further. He knew that this bedspread would definitely need washing come morning.
Russell didn't move slowly, as Devetko had. The gratification he received from being in control for once made him lose all thoughts of moderation. He was driving inside his partner hard, thrusting, grinding inside. Neither of them noticed the bedsprings actually squeaking. Russell grabbed Devetko by the shoulders, shouting raggedly at the air as he threw back his head, bouncing up and down in his frenzy, riding Devetko hard. The detective gritted his teeth and hissed; the frantic motion both hurt and heightened his pleasure as he was pressed down over and over, his heat throbbing and agonized down between his legs. His younger partner continued slamming down into him, screaming now. His fingernails tore into Devetko's skin. Devetko jerked his head up and let out a ragged bark.
Instantly he felt a spurt and the mattress grew wet beneath him. He wheezed, almost painfully; Russell gave a broken cry and jerked into him, hugging him tight, releasing inside. They both let out their breath as the pressure decreased, and Russell's muscles, as Devetko's had before, loosened. At first he didn't move, and neither did the detective; Russell sat atop him, still penetrating him, trying to catch his breath. When he realized that Devetko was attempting to do the same thing, and his straddling him wasn't helping matters, he flushed in embarrassment and pulled himself out, getting off. Devetko pushed himself up on one arm, turning over to collapse on his back, gasping for air. After a moment of making sure that he wasn't mad Russell joined him and they lay beside each other, the younger man tracing a finger along Devetko's bare chest. When the detective turned his head to the side Russell snuggled up to him again, burrowing his head against Devetko's arm, like a child searching for comfort. That was certainly how he acted. Without even thinking about it Devetko immediately reverted back to the dominant role, holding his younger partner close and stroking his face tenderly. Russell sighed, exhausted, and drifted off to sleep.
For a long time Devetko couldn't do the same. It wasn't that he wasn't tired; their two bouts of lovemaking had worn him out as well. He just had too many thoughts racing through his head right now. Like, who was going to take care of Russell if and when he was gone? He couldn't decide if staying with him was the best idea or not. But the truth was that Russell certainly needed him. Not only wanted him, but needed him. He was actually looking up to Devetko for guidance. And though the detective had never promised him any, his actions up to now were certainly leading him to believe that he had.
He sighed. He didn't understand why it all had to be so complicated. Why did Russell have to fall in love with him in the first place? Why had Kristeva even introduced them? He wasn't ungrateful for the attention; in fact it rather flattered him. It was just that he wasn't sure if he could do everything that Russell seemed to think he could. Such as take care of him.
He was too tired to think about all of that now. He had to get some sleep to be back to work in the morning. With another sigh he nestled his head beside Russell's and shut his eyes, searching hard for sleep which finally, thankfully, came.
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This item is not looking for critique. It was written solely for entertainment's sake. Although a scene from a possibly longer story, it is complete in itself and unless otherwise stated there is not going to be any more of it written. Additional unrelated SCENES may be written, but single scenes themselves are complete as they are. So please do not expect more. If you are interested in reading the series which INSPIRED the scene, just look elsewhere in my portfolio and you should find something. (Use the "story codes" given in the scene headers. For example, "MI" = "Manitou Island" series.)
I am not looking for critique on grammar, spelling, style, sentence structure, flow, or the mechanics of writing. What I AM interested in is commentary on such things as characterization, plot, symbolism, theme, etc.--the deeper aspects of the story. I like to know if a scene is believable, if the characters are interesting, what you thought of how they interacted, if the writing evoked any emotions, things such as that.
Feel free to criticize, but just keep in mind that I'm working on more important projects and shared this just for fun and/or to illustrate character interactions, so I don't plan to revise it any time soon. Comments on the characters, theme, etc. are more than welcome. 
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© Copyright 2003 Tehuti, Lord Of The Eight (tehuti_88 at Writing.Com).
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This page last updated 11/11/09. Still under construction so may change at any time.
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