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About Tehuti
I am an amateur writer of novels, serials, and novellas. Most of my work is in the genres of fantasy, mythology, drama, occult, GLBT, and erotica.
As I'm not seeking publication, I offer my work online for free reading. I'm not seeking stylistic critique so much as feedback from people who just like reading what I write. I love hearing what people think of my characters, plots, themes, etc., so if you have any comments or advice on those, feel free to share. I'm not hugely popular and often go many months without hearing from readers so I enjoy all the comments I get!
My interests are Ojibwa mythology, Mackinac Island, Egyptian mythology, Jungian symbolism and dream interpretation, ritual crime, fantasy writing, and various other things you can find in my personal bio, available just to the right. Please click to learn more about me and what I'm looking for in terms of readers and potential friends.
Feel free to hit me up if you're interested in any of these things, and enjoy my writing!
Tar! :) |
Passing The Night UNDERAGED CHARACTER WARNING
CODE: H (set in the Horus/Kemet storyline)
TAKES PLACE DURING (specific story): Legend (?) (unwritten)
PAIRING: Menes/Idut (M/F)
EXPLANATION: This scene is a rather uncomfortable one, so beware... I think this one was just a demon I wanted to purge. Menes traveled around so much during his reunification efforts, I just assumed that, being the way that he is, he must have bedded quite a few ladies. Idut ended up being one of them. Yes, she is VERY young...however, keep in mind that was the way things were back then, when you usually died around age thirty. Also, yes, this scene starts out as a rape--I believe I wanted to show that Menes is a flawed character, rather selfish and aggressive when he wants to be. He's not a monster though, and Idut does end up enjoying the encounter...though I wouldn't recommend anyone trying this, since it's fiction and in real life NO means NO.
DISCLAIMERS: None that I'm aware of.
* * * * *
Passing The Night
She stepped silently into the room, shutting the door behind her. She held a tray of food in her hands, and she kept her eyes focused on it, rather than look up at him. He watched her come close and bow slightly. "I've brought you dinner, Lord."
"Thank you." She placed it on the table and turned back to him with another bow, as if preparing to leave. "What is your name?" he asked, gently. She stopped and froze, and a slight flush entered her cheeks.
"M...my name is Idut, Lord."
"Idut," he echoed. He stood up and approached; she glanced up at him in surprise, but only briefly, before dropping her head again. Her cheeks had gone rosy and he knew that she was embarrassed. He stopped and peered at her.
"How old are you?"
"F-fourteen, Lord. I have just reached my fourteenth year."
"Fourteen years? You appear older than your age."
She flushed again, but this time with pleasure. "Thank you, Lord."
"Have you lived here always?"
"Yes, Lord; I've never been beyond this town."
"Not once?"
"No, Lord...though...I have often longed to see other places." She looked embarrassed again. "I...I must confess, Lord, that when I first came here to bring your food...I had planned to ask you about the places you've been and the things you've seen...but I realized it would be most rude, and so I refrained..."
"Of course it isn't," Menes interjected. "You may ask me what you wish. I'll gladly answer."
"You would?" Idut peered up at him with wide eyes, then suddenly giggled and clapped a hand to her mouth. When he cocked his head she giggled harder.
"Apologies, Lord! I do not mean to laugh!"
He smiled. "There's nothing wrong with it. I don't mind."
"I just suddenly find myself very rude and unwelcome in your company--"
"Of course not. You're welcome here." He moved closer, and took her arm. She stifled a gasp and looked down at his hand, then turned away with a flush. "Will you stay and talk for a bit? I'll tell you about the southern country from where I come."
"Oh--the south, Lord? I've always wanted so badly to see it!"
"Then please join me. I'll tell you everything I know."
"Of course, Lord!"
He took her hand and led her to sit on the bed, being the only place to sit in the small room. He started describing the kingdom he'd come from, and she sat forward and listened raptly, eyes large. Whenever he came to something interesting she would ask him to describe it more, and he would oblige. They spent a half hour simply talking about his homeland, and his story made her excited to know more. She clapped her hands and giggled like the young girl she was when he had finished, and begged for more.
He smiled at her again. "Your father must be wondering why you haven't returned to bed."
"Oh, he would not notice, he's too distracted by other things. Have you ever been to the sea? I should so love to hear about that!"
"Not yet, I haven't; but with the way things are I may have to go there soon."
"How exciting! Oh, I wish I could go along with you. There is so little to see around here."
"I would gladly take you, if I could."
"It would be so interesting! Father will not even let me travel to the next village by myself or with any of his men. He doesn't trust people enough. It's so frustrating. All I wish to do is see a little bit more, learn a bit more as well..."
She trailed off in surprise when his fingers lightly met her face. Her eyes grew larger and she stared at him. The light touch slowly turned into a caress, and he trailed his fingers over her jaw, staring into her eyes. She stared back, and after a moment he slowly leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers.
She slightly turned her head away. "Lord..."
His fingers worked up into her hair. He turned her head back to face him, and his lips met hers again, kissing lightly. He moved to her cheek and then her neck and she shut her eyes, but her whisper came out, pleading, just the same.
"My Lord...please, do not..."
He kissed her neck. A throbbing had started deep inside him, earnest, asking for relief. His breath began to come deeper. His hand trailed from her shoulder down, running over her breast, and he lightly squeezed it through her clothes.
She backed away from his touch. "My Lord...please, we cannot do this. I--I'm much younger than you are, and..."
"Didn't you feel it?" he whispered to her, voice husky. His lips met her ear. "When you came here, did you come here simply to talk with me? Or did you come for another reason?"
"I..." She turned red and balled her fists against her leg. "...I came to bring you your food, Lord...and perhaps to speak...this is...these are the only reasons."
"The color in your skin tells me you are lying..."
"Lord--please..."
He gently but firmly grasped her arms. She let out a small gasp and he could feel her pulse flutter. Her chest hitched and she whimpered.
"Lord, I am untouched--"
"This I don't mind..."
"But--I have never been with a man before--my father will not allow it--please, let me go, I will bother you no further..."
He moved closer to her, kissing her deeply, cutting off any protest she might have made. She murmured into his mouth and her chest hitched again, tears coming to her eyes. He slowly lowered her back onto the bed. With a startled, muffled cry she started to struggle, just slightly, as if afraid of getting hurt--or of hurting him. He held her more tightly and pressed her down, smothering her cries with his kiss. She wore an unusual dress, laced with cord in the front; this he started to undo, still holding her by one arm and pinning her down, and pulled it aside to reveal one tender breast, pale pink aureole filling him with lust. He moved away from her mouth, and placed his lips around it instead, hearing her gasp again; she tensed against him.
"P...please, Lord...don't...please..."
He sucked and nibbled gently, savoring the softness of her skin and her faint gasps, before moving to the other which peeked out, the tiny mound rising from her chest, capped with its tight nipple. He tongued it as well, and his hand grasped her thigh, bringing her leg up onto the bed. His fingers then trailed lower, lower, across her tight belly, and hovered just over her sex, still covered by her dress...gods, he had to remove that thing, get it out of the way right now.
He felt for the slit in it and pulled it aside. She sobbed softly. His hand trailed up her milky thigh and to her hip. He lifted himself to look down at her; he pushed her dress up further to bare her to him, saw the smooth, trembling creaminess that was her mound, now flushed and just barely swollen. His fingers touched it and she gasped and jerked; they then trailed under it, very slowly reaching inside.
"P--please, Lord, I beg you," Idut cried softly, tears streaming down her face. "I have not been with anyone yet. I would not know what to do. I am only fourteen--"
"She whom I was forced to leave back at home was fifteen, just barely older than you are." He found himself telling her this out of annoyance. "You think it would be much different for you?"
"Please, I do not wish..."
"You do wish." He kissed her shoulder and her neck. "You came to my rooms...you wished to stay longer...and while your words say you wish to leave, your body hardly does..."
He reached into her again. Juice came to his fingertips. She lurched and started struggling, albeit weakly.
"My body betrays me! I do not wish this!"
"Your body speaks the truth, as does mine."
"No, Lord--please. Please--!"
She reached up her free hand to push him away. He grabbed her wrist and pushed her arm down to the side. She started sobbing anew and he pressed himself to her, smothering her cries once more. He reached beneath himself to push up his kilt and loosen his loincloth. Already he throbbed outward, hard and aroused. Idut continued crying and struggling, moving her legs in a difficult manner; when he'd released himself he pressed one knee down into her thigh, making her gasp in pain, pinning her leg in place. He did the same with her other and slid his hand under her to grasp her buttock, pushing her hips up and spreading her vulva open.
"Please, Lord, no--! I am not ready! Please! No--!"
Menes kept her spread open to him and moved down and forward. His penis pushed forward into her and ruptured her maidenhead, causing her to cry out in pain, her head going back. He let out his breath and pulled back, then pushed forward again. This time she didn't cry out, but merely whimpered, eyes streaming and chest hitching. Her muscles loosened against him as he felt her giving up. He let go of her arm and she brought it up to cover her breasts; she turned her head to the side as if in shame, weeping silently. He took her by the jaw, panting as he moved, and gently forced her head back to face him. He kissed her, tasting her mouth, and though she still shook with tears, she very tentatively reached up to touch his face.
He kissed her deeper and moved deeper as well. She gasped and shook. Gods, her feel was perfect. He had been tired of masturbating himself in camp at night, squeezing his member tightly and imagining a young woman upon him as he released onto the ground. It felt good to finally have the real thing.
He nuzzled at her ear and squeezed her breast. "Little Idut, you are hardly little anymore," he whispered huskily. "You are already a young woman. You have no reason to be ashamed of this."
She shook harder, eyes shut tight.
"When you find your man, you will be ready for him. If he wishes for you to be untouched, you have only to tell him that you are, and he will believe it. I've been fooled this way."
She finally opened her eyes, just barely. Her voice came breathless and strained. "You...you have...?"
"Yes...it is easy, if you are convincing." He shut his own eyes and gritted his teeth. He let out his breath in a soft groan that made her shiver. "We've spent much time traveling, with few stops...the last time I was with another was many months ago."
"I...didn't kn-know, L-Lord..."
"My men grow frustrated as well...I hope a few of them at least found somebody to be with tonight." His tongue ran along her collarbone. "Do not tell your father this...but before I retired to my room for the night...as I walked past the animal pens I saw one of my men out there, among them, with a donkey...he was mating with it."
Her eyes opened wide now and she turned bright crimson. "He--he was coupling with a donkey--?"
Menes nodded and gave a wry smile. "Yes, he was...his hands upon its backside and his leg twined about its own and his hips pushing against it repeatedly. His eyes were closed but he was caressing it and moaning." Idut started giggling. "He spoke to it, even--'Oh gods, oh gods, you feel so good, my love'--and I believe the donkey agreed with him--as it started to bray when he pushed harder."
Idut burst into laughter.
"But..." He paused to catch his breath as he still moved in and out of her. "...But I believe one of your father's men must have heard it...for he suddenly started moving very quickly as if in a hurry to not get caught...he grabbed it hard and groaned aloud and his hips shook, and then he pulled himself out and had a most difficult time retrieving his clothing...scattered at his feet. He fled the pen still trying to pull up his kilt, all flushed and flustered. I believe after that I saw him heading in the direction of the cows' pens, and I believe I heard one of them lowing."
"Oh gods, this is so funny!"
"The one thing is, I believe also that that was a male donkey."
Idut's laughter grew harder.
"And I wonder if he even realized that he was stroking its shaft as he cried out with joy."
The young girl clasped herself to him, now crying and laughing at once. She gasped for breath and tried to wipe her eyes at the same time.
"Oh my gods, Lord Menes...this is simply too ridiculous! I could never tell my father this story! Though I shall practically die whenever I look at that poor donkey now!"
He smiled as he thrust. "Don't pity the donkey, I believe he gave it the best time it has had in quite a while."
She started laughing anew. "I will never be able to ride it again!! Oh, you have ruined this for me!"
He gave his own soft, breathless laugh. "I do pity him, though...he could probably have found one more his own type, with the same number of legs, had he been a bit more patient...I was not quite so desperate as to mate with a donkey..."
"But--but you were desperate--?"
"Yes..." He nuzzled at her again. "As I am now. My gods, Idut...but the flame inside me has grown to overwhelming."
"Oh--Lord. I'd had no idea..."
"When you first approached it was like a gift from the gods themselves...please don't deny me this." He burrowed his face to her tiny breasts and pushed harder, groaning. Idut gasped and arched with a whimper. He felt her blood, and could tell from her size and tightness that he was big within her, and somewhat painful; but he knew that she could tolerate it. Her skin was flushed a luscious pink, and her nipples poked out hard and round. He caressed her swollen mound, and then her hip.
She bit her lip in strain. "M...My Lord..."
He murmured. "Yes, dear sweet one..."
"Y...you truly find me...find me pleasing? For you?"
"I truly do..." He gritted his teeth and bore into her deeply. "Oh gods, Idut..."
A gasp. "Oh...oh gods, Lord Menes..."
He grasped her hips tightly and moved, deeper. His hips pushed. She reached up and he felt her caress his buttocks, fingers kneading. Her touch set him on fire anew and he groaned.
"Idut...gods...oh, gods..."
"M...Menes..."
His fingers clenched. "Yes," he whispered, voice hoarse. "Yes. Gods, yes..."
"Oh gods, Menes...oh gods..."
* * * * *
The watcher--one of his own men--paused outside the window and dropped low, peering within. He'd seen the girl go into his commander's room, earlier on, as he'd suspected that she would; he'd seen the way she'd looked at him. Finding no other way to pleasure himself this eve, he decided to do it through them. She was very young looking and probably tight; he knew that this would be some fun.
They were already occupied when he peered in at them. Ah, just as he'd thought. They were only shadows, but he could see the young girl lying upon the bottom, while Menes lay atop, straddling her and pushing slowly but steadily. Even as his hips moved--hers as well--he kissed her, and touched her, and she did the same, and he could hear them murmuring to each other softly.
"...Oh gods, My Lord...Menes...oh...oh..."
"Yes...yes. Mmh. Oh yes. Gods, yes. Oh...oh...oh..."
"I...I was wrong..."
"Mmh. Yes. Ohhhh, yes..."
"...P...Please...fill me...Lord Menes..."
"Yes. Yes. Yes." Soft grunting as he moved. "Oh, yes. Mmh. Mmh. Mmh. Yes...sweet Idut...yes..."
"Oh gods." He heard her begin to sob softly. "Oh...oh..."
Menes panted hard. "Idut...sweet little flower...uhnhooohhh, gods, yes...unh...unh...unh..." He started grunting softly with each push, her gasps matching his tempo. "...Oh...oh yes...yes...unh...uh...oh...yes...yes...oh, gods...Idut...unh...little Idut...oh..."
"M...My Lord...My Lord...Menes..."
"Ohhh, Idut...ohhh...unhhh...unhhh...oh...yes...yes...oh, yes..."
A muffled sob, and then a steady, pleasured grunting.
"Unh. Unh. Unh. Unh..."
"Oh, gods! Menes!"
Heavy panting. "Yes...yes...Idut...little flower...ohhh...yes...unh...oh...you feel...you feel wonderful...around me...unh..."
"Menes..."
"...So tight...oh...so wet..."
Sobbing.
"...So hot...oh perfect...yes...just why I wanted you...oh...wanted you so badly...unh...unh..."
"Lord...My Lord. My master. Lord Menes." She cried. "Please...come in me...long and full...please...until we are done..."
"Unh. Oh. Unh. Oh yes...yes...oohhhhhhhhh...yes...ohhh gods...oh, gods...yes..."
"Please make me yours..."
"Oh...unh! Oh!" The watcher watched more closely now, listening as well; Menes's voice had picked up, and he seemed to push faster. They must reach completion soon.
"Oh...n...no...I can't..."
The girl sniffled abruptly and placed her arms around him. "Why not, love?"
"I can't...unh...bring you with me. Oh. Your father..."
"We would forget my father!"
"Oh. N...no...this would not happen...oh. Oh, gods, yes."
"Why can I not go with you?" she asked, with some sorrow in her voice.
He caressed her face even as he continued moving. "You must stay here...with family...oh. Don't leave behind what you know. You are...still young."
"I am not too young to make love to you, Lord...you have proven so yourself..."
"Yes...yes...unh...but you could not follow us in battle. There is much fighting yet. This is why we--unh--travel."
From very far off came the sound of a donkey braying. The girl for some reason suddenly burst into laughter and Menes chuckled along with her. He took advantage of her distraction and sped up considerably, panting and plunging into her, hard, several times over. She screamed at the air and bucked into him. He groaned loudly--"OH YES!"--and pulled out of her quickly, spraying across her chest. She covered herself and sputtered, her own climax dying. He sank over her, panting heavily, and it was a long wait before they started moving again--but not to have sex, just to settle close to one another and touch. Soon she rested in the crook of his arm while he stroked her hair, and they murmured soft words to each other, many of which their watcher couldn't understand.
"...Dear little Idut..."
"...With a donkey. So awful..."
"...Going to have to have a short talk with him..."
A giggle. "Make it a long talk. That poor brute!" They both laughed softly and he saw their heads move close and knew that they were kissing. What he had come to see hadn't been as dramatic as he'd expected it to be. Time to move along.
He carefully got up from the window and moved away, searching for more interesting pursuits.
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Thank you!
This item is not looking for critique. It was written solely for entertainment's sake. Although a scene from a possibly longer story, it is complete in itself and unless otherwise stated there is not going to be any more of it written. Additional unrelated SCENES may be written, but single scenes themselves are complete as they are. So please do not expect more. If you are interested in reading the series which INSPIRED the scene, just look elsewhere in my portfolio and you should find something. (Use the "story codes" given in the scene headers. For example, "MI" = "Manitou Island" series.)
I am not looking for critique on grammar, spelling, style, sentence structure, flow, or the mechanics of writing. What I AM interested in is commentary on such things as characterization, plot, symbolism, theme, etc.--the deeper aspects of the story. I like to know if a scene is believable, if the characters are interesting, what you thought of how they interacted, if the writing evoked any emotions, things such as that.
Feel free to criticize, but just keep in mind that I'm working on more important projects and shared this just for fun and/or to illustrate character interactions, so I don't plan to revise it any time soon. Comments on the characters, theme, etc. are more than welcome. 
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© Copyright 2003 Tehuti, Lord Of The Eight (tehuti_88 at Writing.Com).
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This page last updated 11/11/09. Still under construction so may change at any time.
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