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Review #4806885
Viewing a review of:
 A Broader View Open in new Window. [E]
Written for Writer's Cramp Prompt: A brand new neighbor blares Country Western music
by D.L. Robinson Author Icon
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#4806885
Review of A Broader View  Open in new Window.
Review by Tiggy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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*PenB* First Impressions:

This story didn’t go where I expected it to go! I should have guessed really - the main character wasn’t the type of guy who would pick a fight with a neighbour over some loud music. He preferred classical music, and he was quick to yell out of the window when he could hear country music blaring outside, but that would have been as far as he would be willing to take it. It was clear from the character’s description that a physical altercation wasn’t in his nature, and yet, when he stuck his head out of the window, that’s what I was expecting.

The new neighbour with a completely different personality, was a different matter. The readers only got to meet him when he put on his music way too loud, and didn’t know anything else about him other than he liked to chew tobacco and thought classical music was for sissies. We didn’t get to find out how far he would have gone to defend his taste in music though because the main character had a moment of clarity and respected the other man’s right to self expression as well as his unusual choice of music. He concluded that they were both strong men who would likely become friends. It was an interesting ending and far better than I had expected.


*PenG* Suggestions:

The story was very polished and I only noticed a few small errors:

His grandmother and mother both died off long ago
It might just be me, but the expression “died off” sounded odd to me in this context. I would probably just say “died”.

dusty jeans and oil stained work boot.
That should be “boots”, plural.

"Well, Carter G. Woods could you turn that crap down a bit?"
You need a comma after “Woods” to set off the direct address.


*PenP* Final Thoughts:

I could imagine the setting very well and there were some lovely descriptions, for example this one: his broad lips thinned across his brown face in a smile, which made it easy to picture the character at that moment. I liked how he thought about his mother and grandmother at the beginning and then thought about something his grandmother used to say at the end. It gave the tale a very rounded feel, and the way he reacted to that memory made the ending seem perfect for the character. A good story!




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